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Watch ‘Peaches and Cream’ In Our Theater

Starring: Annette Haven, Tigr, Holly McCall, Sparky Vasc, Sandra Martin, Paul Thomas, Dale Meador, Jessie Adams, Tony Richards

Peaches and Cream is another ambitious presentation by Select-Essex, the folks who brought you Sex World, A Thousand and One Erotic Nights, and Country Comfort, to name but a few. Select’s vision is to purify porn – to mainstream it so that it’s palatable to even the most squeamish audiences. When we’re talking about squeamish in regard to adult cinema, we’re talking about that oft alluded to quantity, “the female audience”. As video specialists, Select-Essex is trying to effortlessly to attract this errant prospective porn population, and Peaches and Cream is perhaps most exemplary of this tradition.

Peaches and Cream is a remarkable film to me for three main reasons, which I hope to impart to you before the close of this review (unless I forget). Worthy of note was the tone of the film, which seemed to me to earnestly attempt steering clear of objectifying statements about women. One important scene, in fact, shows a sultry Annette Haven putting a lecherous businessman in his place for daring to suggest a little “favor”. This is quite worthy of note.

This Original Theatrical Trailer is from a poor 8mm print source. The Full Movie in theater is in it’s best currently available DVD quality.

Another reason this movie tickled my- er, uh – fancy – is that it is the first, premiere performance of Ms. Sparky Vasc in a film. The editorial department was all so proud of Sparky, and we played back the scenes of her marvelous blow job several times following afternoon tea. Sparky looks great! Her first scene is with another black woman, dancing sensuously at a private party. Her gorgeous black skin had been polished with care, glistening like a chunk of anthracite. “They used bear grease on me,” Sparky confided. “That’s what gave it that special sheen.”

Speaking of the voluptuous Vasc, we can no longer keep a secret. Sparky is married! Yes, folks, – after a whirlwind courtship of some few weeks, Sparky and her beau went for the blood tests. So now, you’ll have to drag out of me who she married! Well, guess what – I ain’t gonna tell you! And do you know why I’m not gonna tell you? It’s because I’ve promised her not to reveal her hubby’s identity – he refuses to allow her to tell people who he is. Now I can’t tell you either, but I will say this much: he is a member of a popular British rock-group, with many highly successful AM/FM hits. On top of this, he’s young (great!) blonde (wow!) and British (love them Limey boys!). Mazeltov, Sparky. But the bad news is that pop hubby is not entirely pleased with his missus’s standing in the adult entertainment community. It is possible that she will no longer make films, and what a waste that would be. So, it is entirely possible that this one film may be the only film ever to contain this most legendary porn figure. It could become a porn classic.

And speaking of classic – we are now at the film’s third point of interest. Her name is Annette Haven. Quite frankly, I’d never really been a fan of Annette Haven‘s. It wasn’t that I didn’t like her, but that I had no strong feelings about her one way or the other. But after seeing Peaches and Cream, I’m on the Annette Haven bandwagon. I’ve seen her in Co-ed Fever, Centerspread Girls, The Seven Seductions, and 1,001 Erotic Nights, and all of these over the past three months! I wasn’t overly impressed; but Annette’s look in Peaches and Cream is irresistible. Credit must be given to wardrobe, hair styling and make-up departments, as the look they prepare for Annette Haven surely captures her in a way she’s never appeared before. With little exaggeration, she is as beautiful and desirable as Loretta Young in her earliest films – a unique look for an actress in this industry. In fact, no many actresses at all, straight or porn, manage to successfully bring off that look of total innocence. Loretta Young, Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly – not many others, surely. But Annette Haven‘s presentation reaches towards that.

Peaches and Cream is about one woman’s search for truth, leaving home at an early age and challenging the big city on its own terms. Somehow, she gets involved in a high-class hooking operation, living high on the aubergine – as our foreign correspondent Matthew Butterworth Moorhouse would say. You might have also noticed my mention of the editorial staff stopping work at 4 pm for the afternoon tea. This was a suggestion of Moorhouse’s on the last sojourn here from Britain, and the idea was accepted readily by Joyce James, and roundly defamed as “stupid pseudo-scholarly horse shit” by Boz Crawford. We are still having afternoon tea at the classicadultvideo.com afternoon break; there’s bound to be a break in the action soon – I’ll keep you posted.

Back to Annette Haven; she’s in the city making bucks upon bucks, but is having trouble integrating her psychosocial identities with one another; she is experiencing a sense of profound disequilibrium and intellectual disquietude. She reveals these dilemmas to her shrink, who recommends in typical psychiatric jargon, that she go “back to the farm”. For this profound revelation, the grateful Sunny (Annette) sucks off the swelling shrink. Finally, after much angst, therapy, sex with Paul Thomas and Tigr, and lots of great clothes, Sunny (still Annette) is on the road to self-realization.

Peaches and Cream is Annette Haven‘s coming of age, the high point of her career. Annette has called Peaches and Cream her best role to date, her most ambitious, and it is easy to see why. This is the advent of woman-porn – the market on the verge of exploding any moment now, the throbbing clitorises of America swelling to meet the new genre being developed on their behalf.

(Review: January 1983)